Okay I know reading this title may sound a little strange and you’re probably thinking what the hell is this girl on? Shouldn’t it be thankful to those that support you and care about you? Yes I know, it’s a weird title isn’t it but hear me out okay. I’m going somewhere with this trust me. Before I get into this actually, welcome back and apologies for going into hibernation yet again. I’m really trying to learn this whole adulting life and finding time to write and create content (so if any of you lovely readers out there have ways to go about balancing your day to day activities and life. (PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!)
Once upon a time in my life, I was really bitter and angry. I severely started holding grudges to people that hurt me and it was disgusting. Looking back at it now having that negative thinking was wrong and I can totally put my hands up to that. At the time I just really struggled with forgiveness because why would you want to forgive anyone that ripped your personality into shreds, betrayed you and showed you that you are less than worthy. I couldn’t even forgive myself because I actually allowed such a thing to happen. A whole me allowed people to come into my life and ruin the light within myself. Yeah never again. I remembered because of them I considered joining the heartless wave and not giving a sh*t about anyone’s feelings because why should I, gotta reciprocate the same toxic energy they give you right? Wrong!
Hate is a strong word so I won’t say that but what I will say is that I’m pretty certain a few of us have people who we wish they’d turn into dust on sight because of the grief they caused you. Is that too dramatic? Yes? But yeah you get my point. You just don’t rate them at all lol. Which is fine because why should you. You had a terrible experience with them and all they did was bring you sadness, insecurity and pain. At the end of the day, we are humans and we do become bitter and wish we never met certain people because of how they treated us. And let me just point this out, the longer you hold onto the pain, the harder it’ll be for you to move on and feel free. If you keep holding on to the misery, you’re only doing yourself dirty sis,
Getting over a painful experience is not easy at all, it’s literally a process guys. Taking it day by day kind of thing. It’s difficult to digest that someone you cared about could do you dirty like that but once you accept what was done, you are giving yourself that wonderful start to allow the wound to heal. This isn’t easy at all so I commend anyone of you who are going through that process. People don’t say it enough but the healing process is such a journey. It’s definitely not a 24-hour success. It takes time and it’s okay if it takes you longer than others.
Anyways going back to my point, (lol sorry I feel like I tend to drift away at times and talk about something slightly different) So you know the phrase people come into your life as a blessing or a lesson. Or even for a season or a reason. This saying speaks volumes yo and it’s so so true. Not everyone in your life right now will be there forever. Not everyone in this life is nice you know. Not everyone cares the way you care. Some people are selfish and only care about themselves. They will tear you down and down and feel no remorse which is sad but it’s the unfortunate truth. People hurt but at the end of the day you have yourself and it’s so so important to love you because absolutely no one will take that away from you.
I’m currently on my phone snuggled up in bed writing this piece at 11:37am (fingers crossed this post will make it out by the afternoon). Now the sole reason why I wanted to share this post was because of the thoughts circulating my mind this morning. I really started to think and reflect about this year and I found the people I thought would be in my future have become only a memory in the past. And you know what…it’s okay, like I said in my previous post everything is meant to happen for a reason, unfortunately, I don’t always understand the reason but I know it’s for the best so at the end of the day all the failed friendships and inconsistency relationships that happened made me a better me so for that I say thank you. “Thank you for the hurt because, without the situations, I would have never learned that I am strong enough to survive without anything in return for my love and time. Without it, I would have never known betrayal, mistrust, pain and most importantly I would have never been able to understand that I do not need people to be happy; all I need is myself.”
Do you see where I’m coming from now? The difficult relationships you had with the people that hurt you will often push you to change your behaviour for the better. Why? Because you don’t want to be like them and you for sure don’t want to make others feel low like the way they made you feel. These people showed me what I do deserve and what I need to work on. “We don’t realise that it often takes the contrast of pain to completely appreciate what we have. Sometimes the way light enters us is, in fact, through the wound.”
I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m truly coming to peace with everything and I’ve built enough courage to say thank you for that experience and pain.
It taught me better.